Sunday, 2 November 2008

I Bottled It!

I went to visit my folks a few days ago and decided to go on the train so as to avoid the beloved M25! As I left my house I said a throw away comment to my housemates about whether I might have a divine encounter on the train. God must have been listening!

I sat down on my own initially and then a family joined me. A middle aged Mum and her teenager daughter and then the Mum's Dad (the girl's Grandad) They were a friendly family and we spoke a bit now and again. At one point, while reading my book, I heard the Grandad talking about his tinitus (we've seen tinitus healed at the King's Arms!); about how bad it was and had his daughter looked up some treatment for him to try yet. Remembering the comment I'd made to my housemates only minutes before I knew this was it and so I started doing battle with myself about what I should do.

Could I butt into this conversation and so admit to the family that I'd been listening in while pretending to read? How would I start the conversation? What about if they responded badly? I'd have to keep sitting with them until one of us got off the least when you're on the streets you can run away if it doesn't all work out! What would they think of a random woman offering to pray? Questions like this and others went round and round in my head as I battled internally over what to do.

A friend prophesied over me not so long ago about seeing the Kingdom of God come being a lifestyle for me (in other words, not just on 'planned' treasure hunts, but in my everyday life -like maybe on the train travelling to see my parents for example?!) So I decided to stop reading my book and I made a deal with God - If the Grandad directed conversation towards me that was anything to do with his tinitus I would offer to pray. As it happens, he mentioned it once more to his daughter and then not again before they got off the train in London.

I kicked myself once they'd left. I knew that this was a missed opportunity - that the only reason I'd made the deal with God was because I wasn't brave enough to begin the conversation myself. I'd bottled it! I believe that these kind of opportunities will start to come up more and more in my everyday life as God teaches me to live a lifestyle of bringing His Kingdom. Things that I learnt this time round? That God's grace means I don't have to beat myself up when I bottle it and that God has more freedom for me from the fear of man. Here's to everyday Kingdom encounters!

No comments: